I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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