i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
