You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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