I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
