google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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