I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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