thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
