I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
