Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
