Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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