All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
