omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
