Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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