I'm going to jail i love you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
