look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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