She is in my trunk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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