this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
