she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
