All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
