He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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