I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
