Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
