Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
