ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
