but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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