shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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