hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
