O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
