I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
