break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
