My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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