guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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