I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
