i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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