So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
