Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
