I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
