Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
