sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
