Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
