was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
