He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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