Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
