she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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