i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
