it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I would fuck him just for his dog
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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