Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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