Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
