There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
