She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
